Had to put this somewhere.

Igor's Top 15 Albums of All Time (Part I)

I was listening to My Aim is True and thinking about how seldom artists make complete albums anymore.  Since the songs can be listened to and purchased a la carte, it seems there's no real reason.  Which sucks.

So, in a fit of nostalgia, I've decided to put together my totally arbitrary subjective list of the TOP FIFTEEN ALBUMS OF ALL TIME (according to Igor)(in no particular order)(Part I).

Elvis Costello - My Aim is True
The first one I mentioned and what can I say? The album just hangs together, one great track after another and they all flow perfectly.  This album made Elvis Costello cool, it made nerdy glasses cool, and provided thousands of acapella groups the opportunity to sing "Allison" to one of their girlfriends.  "Watching the Detectives" is the best track, though.

Marvin Gaye - What's Goin On
What can you call this album besides a masterpiece?  A perfectly constructed protest album, a shiny snapshot of America in 1970, and as relevant today as it was then.  The amazing thing is not just how great each song is, but also the realization that something is lost listening to them out of context.  Marvin Gaye intended the album to be listened to as a whole, with each song leading into the next.  The result is a powerful and moving work of art.

Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend
Another concept album, Girlfriend is a compilation of songs about his ex-girlfriends.  Clever, right?  While the concept seems a bit cheesy now, in practice, it produced an album which lead us through his faults and disappointments, but also established an alternative sound that was in many ways in opposition to grunge, which was emerging at the same time.

Superchunk - Foolish
Speaking of grunge, the '90s was a prolific time for Superchunk, who were leaders in the Chapel Hill punk/alternative scene.  Foolish is a collection of songs about the breakup of a relationship between two band members.  That's right.  They were in a band, they dated, they broke up, they kept playing in the band.  To a large extent, before Foolish, Superchunk was a guitar-focused punk band.  But at Foolish, they began laying the foundation for what we would later call alt-rock. At the same time, they were founding Merge Records, which has had a profound impact on rock and pop since.

Dresden Dolls -The Dresden Dolls
Sure, Amanda Palmer is married to Neil Gaiman now, and an inspiration to teenage girls everywhere, but the Dresden Dolls' self-titled album is about as perfect as girl-angst breakup music gets. Dark, percussive and wickedly funny, The Dresden Dolls is a great diversion.  Also, I find it hilarious that "Coin-Operated Boy" is the jingle for an Austrian jam.

Fishbone - Truth and Soul
Truth and Soul marks the perfect mix of rock, funk, ska and soul.  From their cover of "Freddie's Dead" to the final track, "Change," Fishbone crafted an album that took the music to new artistic places and addressed social issues without being preachy.  The album was also recorded at the same facility in West Hollywood as parts of What's Goin On.

The Cure - Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me
Many mopey kids in the '80s and '90s found this album as their gateway in to New Wave, later discovering Souxsie and The Banshees, New Order, and The Pixies.  Other albums from the Cure are musically stronger, I think, like The Head on the Door and Disintegration, but as a whole, Kiss Me hangs together and is important for making the New Waver sound more mainstream.

Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced?
Since its release in 1967, this album has inspired four generations of teenage dudes to noodle around on guitars in an effort to impress teenage girls.  In a larger sense, it provided the announcement that rock and roll was about to be something different, and like many of the other artist events of '67-68, it changed our approach to the artform forever.  With Are You Experienced?, lyrics took a back seat to the guitar, and the guitar became one piece of the electronic instrument that could make sounds that folks hadn't even imagined before.  Some would argue that the Rolling Stones and the Beatles were doing the same thing, and that a few years later Neal Young would push the envelope even further, but the fact is, Are You Experienced? has been a staple of college dorms for 47 years.

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
How do you choose just one Beatles album? Well, it's hard, but I'll tell you this: 1966 studio album that's all experimental recording techniques and it's awesome.  'Nuff said.

If you thought these nine albums were outrageous, wait until you see PART II!

(See how I'm click-baiting there?)

Cast Spell: Raise Blog from Dead!

So, it's about time I revived this.  Check later in the week for: Igor's Top 15 Albums of All Time.

Cement Trucks and Newton's Laws

Think about a cement truck. The part that actually holds the cement is egg-shaped, right? The pointy side of the egg is up, and the fat part is down. If you're having trouble imagining this, here:

That part of the truck is called the mixing drum.

Okay, we all know, since we asked a lot of annoying questions when we were children, that the cement is in the drum, and the drum spins to mix the concrete. But here's the puzzler: The spout of the drum is the highest part. So how does the concrete get from down in the bottom of the drum and out of the spout at the top?

I figure, on the inside of the drum, there's a variation of an Archimedes Screw. What's that, you ask? Essentially, it's a spiral that works like a screw. Turn it one way and nothing happens. Turn it the other way, and whatever liquid is inside is forced to move up the screw.
Now if I knew that cement trucks spun one way to mix and the other way to unload, I know I'd know I was right. But I don't.

So feel free to tell me.

Raspberries, the wussy fruit.

I was walking to my car the other day, and the ground was littered with all of these fruit from a palm tree. At least I think it was a palm. That was the closest tree. I suppose the fruits could have come from some other tree, and fallen at an angle, or been carried over by one of those guys with a shopping cart full of aluminum cans, but WHERE they came from isn't as important as the fruits themselves. They were like little nuts, but they had this outer covering of barbed spikes.

Spikes. I thought, "Wow, this fruit sure knows how to protect itself." So I started thinking about other fruits and nuts that protect themselves. Coconuts? Oh yeah. Cucumbers? Prickly! Cashews? Those things are prehistoric! I decided the plants made the fruits hard to eat so as to protect the seeds. The parts of fruit we eat are intended to nourish the seeds, right?

But then I started thinking about berries. Like raspberries. Those have no protection at all! No spike. No shell. No rind. Hell, they're just sitting out on the bush for everyone to see. They're RED! They're just screaming "EAT ME!" If you've ever had raspberry bushes, you'd know that this is exactly what happens. Birds come from miles around just to eat all the raspberries before you have time to go out there with a bowl. It's mucho frustrating.

So why would some fruits be the botanical equivalent of tanks and others be, well...wussy?

Then I remembered something about the birds eating all the berries. When that happens the neighborhood is covered with bird crap which is filled with seeds. The birds can't digest the seeds. Which means, the seeds get distributed by the birds. Almost like those berries are meant to be eaten.

That's the kind of evolution I like. The more desirable you are, the better your chances of reproducing. Well, if you're a vine or shrubbery.

I want jam.

What are you supposed to be?

Sometimes I'm really into Halloween. And sometimes I'm really not. The times that I'm not into Halloween usually follow an experience when I put together a costume at the last minute and it's maybe not perfect, and then I get to a party and some bitchy girl says "What are you supposed to be?"

There are really only two reasons to ask this question:

1. You want me to know my costume sucks. You don't care if you can tell what I intended or not, you mostly just want me to understand that I am smaller, weaker, and poorer than you, and no, you will not be making out with me later.

2. You honestly can't tell what my costume is, and so, you're assuming it must be bad, because if were good, you'd know, right? I mean there couldn't POSSIBLY be anything out there that you didn't know about.

The real sticker in the question "What are you supposed to be?" is the supposed. Supposed implies that something was attempted, but failed. If you ask "What are you?" instead, well then you're at least admitting that I may have succeeded at being something, you just don't know what it is.

In all cases, a much better question would be: "Can I get you a drink?" or, "How'd you make that?" Then we have a shared activity, which may or may not include talking about how much my costume sucks.

Because I know. Oh, I know.

Montalban

Another thing I thought about yesterday was that time in Wrath of Khan when Captain Terrel and Checkov get captured on Ceti Alpha V. Khan has them standing there, all captured, and he peels off his scarf and gloves, then looks at them.

To Terrel he says: "I don't know you."
To Checkov he says: "You...I never forget a face."

This might be one of the best moments of scene-chewing awesomeness in American Cinema.

Watch it and try to tell me it doesn't kick ass. I task you!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRdDeLGP6G4&feature=related